Sunday, March 27, 2016

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...


As a child, curiosity toward religions plagued me.  I attended many churches with my friends trying to understand the complexities and simple differences they professed.  Now please understand, I was a child of seven or eight at this time.  One beautiful Sunday morning I set out to attend the fundamentalist Christian church that my closest friend went to.  The service was lovely (lots of hymn singing and a bit of the fire and brimstone preaching I had been warned about by my friend).  I found it all exciting.  The hymns were not so different from my own family's church, but then came time for Communion...  An ardent observer of people (even at this early age), I watched as the Communion tray passed from person to person.  When it reached me, I did as I had seen others do and broke a small piece of the bread (cracker) from the tray, placing it in my mouth and waiting for the wine tray that followed.  (When in Rome...)  Following church when we were safely outside, my friend pulled me aside and instilled the greatest fear I have ever known.  "YOU are going to HELL!!" she said.  "Why?" I asked.  "YOU took Communion but you are not baptised as a Christian!"  Now here it gets a bit sticky--I was a child but I believe I had an acute power of deduction and for me it wasn't working.  I believed in God, I did not realise what I had done was considered a mortal sin in the eyes of the members of this church, I had only acted as a child would.  Would God commit me to burn in hell as my friend said or would He understand that a child was innocent of sin when that sin was committed without knowledge.  This question has plagued me for years.  Even now, as a full-grown adult, I suffer from the fear that my friend's words may have been true and that I may be facing eternity in a place I have no desire to be.  Will the life I have lived be able to save me from this fate?  Would one transgression as a child doom me?  Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...


10 comments:

  1. for one I do not believe in children going to hell because they have not been baptized- it's how you live your life- we were not taken to church but wee were taught to live by the Golden Rule. It's really quite simple.

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  2. I suppose I was (and perhaps still am) impressionable. I was taught the Golden Rule and love for my fellow men by my Father and Mother but the thought that I had committed a sin without knowing it, at such a young age, haunted me for years. My God is a forgiving God and I trust He will forgive me my trespasses. Thank you for stopping by. Coni

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  3. When I saw this image, I was thinking too, Conne, of communion...thinking, though, of when I tasted my first protestant communion - the grape juice and white bread. But I thought to myself when I tasted it: 'What the heck is this?' LOL
    And it figures that a church of 'fire and brimstone preaching' would also be the kind to produce such sanctimonious members so full of their own crap!

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    1. Belief is a strong emotion, even in a child with a strong sense of right and wrong. I still carry the guilt for having tasted their communion without the necessary commitment, but the grownup me believes it was innocently done and my God will forgive me. The 'fire and brimstone' is not my way--more goodness and light. Thanks for your remarks, stop by again soon. Coni

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  4. Children can be very cruel (i.e. your friend's words of going to hell).
    I believe in God, less in organized religion (churches, synagogues and their rituals).
    Whatever the sin, God will forgive if you ask Him to do that. I constantly ask for His forgiveness whether I'm aware of the sin or not.

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  5. I, too, believe in a merciful God. So good to hear from you, Duta. Loved your last post. Hope one day we can meet.

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  6. Well if God is everything they say he is, he's forgiving especially to children. I too, had my search only older and practiced several different religions trying to find my way. I never did. Lol!

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  7. Thanks, Bekkie, I found Him. Best wishes to you.

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  8. I think communion is between god and the partaker...all should be welcomed to drink and eat...

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